032

Beer for breakfast, who's gonna scold? You've got your early hours dulled by the cigarettes you rolled.

Some mornings I am a mess. I just want to curl up in my sheets and hide from everything difficult. But nothing worth having comes easy. This takes work and it's not that I don't think it's worth it. It's just every once in a while I doubt I have it in me.

031

jabberwocky reflectionists
slacker perfectionists
I won't start anything that I can't finish
I don't start anything so I can't finish
tell me the mirror image of grotesque because the opposite of pain isn't happiness
the extremes aren't ugly here and beautiful there
it's broken if you do, broken if you don't
there's no such thing as a happy medium, it's shattered and we've got seven years bad luck
my last seven until I'm the magic number and it's time to finally escape and wake back up

she says "I want to figure out why people are so unhappy"
she says "because they are"
and I say "yeah, we are."

030

I've realized what I want out of my relationships: I want to be trusted and I want to be unconditionally loved.

But first I need to deserve it.

029

I have a lot of things now that I didn't have this time last year.
I had a lot of things this time last year that I don't have now.
I'm not sure if I have less or more now than I used to. All I know is I am generally satisfied with my life (and incredibly grateful for the loving people in it) but birthdays always make me think I was happier the year before.

Something else I know: I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and been through some rough patches lately but I'm doing just fine right now and I'm not a bad person. It's not for you to say what every heart should pay. I'm another body and soul that isn't your own.