Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
014
Dear scarecrow,
I really do hope you find her, the girl you are willing to make time for in your busy life. Because you deserve to be happy.
But I also hope you stop popping up in my life just to remind me you're looking for her and I'll never be her. Because I deserve to be happy, too.
Nothing and nobody is more important than it, but it's just something you do to distract yourself from how lonely you are? That's what we call contradicting yourself.
Besides, that's not what life is supposed to be. You're supposed to do things because they make you truly happy, not because they make you temporarily forget how shitty you feel all the time. And I'm really sorry that you're too proud to fix what makes you so unhappy, because I've been there and I know what it's like to live like that.
Also, not everyone is so insecure they need to be put first all the time. There's a girl out there confident enough that she doesn't need you to love her more than you love anything else. But it's probably not me.
As much as you may think I'm a complete whore, I don't think I can get with you without falling for you again. Other people maybe, and maybe that makes me as gross as you said. But not you.
And if you and I get any more tangled up in each other, we'll never be friends again.
And no, I don't know why I am so worried about preserving a friendship that's only based on wanting each other and making each other feel inadequate. But I'm too used to it and too afraid of losing it. I'm afraid of not having you around anymore to make me feel like there's at least one person out there who wants to see me naked and needs to talk to me about their life.
So yeah. You may not wax philosophical at 3 am, but I do.
I really do hope you find her, the girl you are willing to make time for in your busy life. Because you deserve to be happy.
But I also hope you stop popping up in my life just to remind me you're looking for her and I'll never be her. Because I deserve to be happy, too.
Nothing and nobody is more important than it, but it's just something you do to distract yourself from how lonely you are? That's what we call contradicting yourself.
Besides, that's not what life is supposed to be. You're supposed to do things because they make you truly happy, not because they make you temporarily forget how shitty you feel all the time. And I'm really sorry that you're too proud to fix what makes you so unhappy, because I've been there and I know what it's like to live like that.
Also, not everyone is so insecure they need to be put first all the time. There's a girl out there confident enough that she doesn't need you to love her more than you love anything else. But it's probably not me.
As much as you may think I'm a complete whore, I don't think I can get with you without falling for you again. Other people maybe, and maybe that makes me as gross as you said. But not you.
And if you and I get any more tangled up in each other, we'll never be friends again.
And no, I don't know why I am so worried about preserving a friendship that's only based on wanting each other and making each other feel inadequate. But I'm too used to it and too afraid of losing it. I'm afraid of not having you around anymore to make me feel like there's at least one person out there who wants to see me naked and needs to talk to me about their life.
So yeah. You may not wax philosophical at 3 am, but I do.
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